Stuck at a dinner party with her boyfriend's distant relatives from Europe, Loren called over the waiter and asked for another glass of wine.
"All right, all right!" One blonde, buxom woman said heartily. "I have one. What one thing would you bring with you to a deserted island? It could be anything, no restrictions! Only one thing. Earl?"
"Oh dear lord in heaven," Loren mumbled as she drained another glass of wine and smiled weakly as the guests took turns contemplating the most creative answer to an unoriginal question.
"An airport," one said.
"A survival kit."
"My wife." Awes filled the table.
"Oh that reminds me of another!" Mrs. Mason said exuberantly. "What would you do if you were stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a belt? Loren, what about you?"
Alcohol now consumed her system and the dinner party showed no sign of slowing down. How she longed to quietly walk away from this table unscathed, catch the L train home and take a long bath. "I'm sorry, what was the question?"
"What would you do if you were stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a belt?"
"What would I do if I was stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a belt?"
"Mhm."
Loren took another large gulp from her replenished wine glass. She set it down gently and leaned back. She exhaled and looked around at the table of pale blondes staring back at her. "Well. I'd hang myself." With a smug smile, she motioned the waiter for the check.
Comments (6)
i'm back i'm back! lol.
i'm sorry you've been sick. i hope you're feeling better now! i have lots of pictures from the wedding, like the reception and my sister cutting the cake with her husband and everything. and i also have pics from PA. but right now i just feel like laying in my own bed for a while. aha. i went on the internet a few times to feed my addiction to you know what, but that was pretty much it the whole time i was up there. my cousin loves it too, so i had such a good old fangirly time. my aunt even likes it. you know what i'm talking about. hah.
like 50 celebrities died when i was there too. the whole past weekend has been michael jackson shit. i mean, i never really liked him so i don't care all that much. i did love thriller though.
i also found out my great great aunt died this morning. she used to babysit me. i don't know if i am going to the funeral or wake or anything. i've never been to one. my mom might just go with my aunts, but this is pretty much the closest family member to me who has died.
anddddd idk. i'm all jumbled up. i just cleaned my room and unpacked a giant suitcase. i also immediately went and watched the episode of true blood i missed last sunday. oh my god i was so upset. thank god for hbo on demand, haha.
hope your weeks been good! it feels like i was gone forever. i'm glad i got to go somewhere though. i love my cousins, lol.
<3 Brandy
I really like to story but the ending is kinda obvious. You should have Loren say "erotic asphyxiation". That way it totally fucks with the in-laws in the way a generic "I want to kill myself" can't. It doesn't matter if that's the farthest thing from her mind because sex is way more taboo than death.
@dogearedbook - Wouldn't that have been a bit too obvious too, given David Carradine's recent death? I don't know, things are so overdone that you start to wonder if anything is ever original.
Truth: A guy walked into my work and asked me that question (the belt question). He said someone asked him that at a dinner party. Then he left. Colette was with me and said she'd use it to whip down coconuts. I don't know what else you'd do with a belt besides hang yourself. Or keep your pants up.ahaha i was talking about twilight not whatthemovie! rofl, i thought the fangirly portion made it obvious. my cousin doesn't know any of the movies barely. i played it with them and they were like "what is your problem, how do you know all these movies?" and then i felt pathetic, aha. i didn't want to mention it was twilight because i know how annoying i am. haha i thought you'd know what i was talking about. oh i know you've missed me. (bahah) my cousin loves twilight and so does my aunt. we watched it and my uncle was watching it too and he kept cracking jokes. haha when they were about to kiss he made this funny voice and was like, "oh i just want to bite your lips off, but i can't!". haha
i download movies from torrent sites and then i watch them on vlc player. and there's an option to take snapshots of the movies. or there's the print screen key on the keyboard. but they come out better on vlc player. i had vlc player downloaded because i download movies and sometimes they don't play on windows media player, so i use that and they always work. i haven't made and shots recently because idk what to do. i always want pretty looking ones or cool ones. and those are limited to only certain movies. i'm about to watch confessions of a shopaholic. have you seen it? i love chick flicks.
i mean seriously! ed mcmahon died, farrah fawcett died, michael jackson died, and today the oxy clean guy died! it sounds sort of bad but my great great aunt's death didn't really phase me. she used to babysit me a lot and i thought she was annoying. she always had a shit ton of junk food in her house though and she let me eat it. haha. great great aunt looks so weird to type. she was my grandpa's aunt, so yeah. i hadn't seen her in a few years. my mom said she was really miserable because she was pretty much blind and she hated having people take care of her. so she's happier now, i guess. i don't think i'd even want to go to a wake. i think seeing her dead body would screw me up big time. i just don't want to think about it really.
my pool finally opened today! i'm going to spend all day outside tomorrow (hopefully). i really don't feel like positng all this wedding shit and pa shit. ahah! i will eventually though. my sister just got back from her honeymoon. i still can't believe it. it went by so fast. she's married! when i typed husband in the other comment i was like WHAAAT. ahah.
feel better!
<3 Brandy
Hmm, I wonder what else you could do with a belt on a deserted island. Maybe use it to catch fish? You know, make a make-shift fishing rod. Kinda a stretch though, haha.
Well so far no strep throat, but I have so much fluid in my left ear I can't hear out of it and it aches all the time! Which has made writing music so frustrating these past few days. I can't believe you went in to work! I called in sick today, which I'll have to go tomorrow regardless but oh well. You know, I'm a get up and go kind of person so when I'm holed up in my house for three days feeling like this I tend to get a bit edgy. Ugh, I wish this whole thing would just blow over for us so we can feel better! Getting sick is so inconvenient, haha.
I think all of us hit those times in our lives where we don't move and are just kind of stagnant. I see that as a test of our true potential. If you can still fight your hardest when you don't even see a payoff anytime soon or at all that really shows what you're capable of. I think God puts those times in our lives for that purpose. I mean, I don't particularly like them, haha, but I think they're a necessary evil. If we always were either progressing or failing then life would be too cut and dry. Well, at least for me it would, haha. I'm starting to rethink my whole plan for my bachelors. It seems like a good idea on paper but I'm not sure that's where I want to go with my life. I just wish all of this "growing up" business was easier.
I promise I'll let you know. To be honest I'm a little nervous about the whole thing which is weird for me. Nothing really gets me nervous. I mean yeah, the ocassional thing, but overall I don't feel that way often. And I totally agree. We have helped each other out quite a bit. I'm glad that I could be there for you. I'm sure we'll meet someday =) We just have to find the right time, that's all. I hope you have a great week!
That was a nice fun little read ! That Loren girl really needs to cut down on the booze though ! That whole question about being stranded on a desert island seems so old. I'm guessing its still used because everyone's answer will be somewhat different, and a lot can be learned about someone based on what they say. I hope that you've been having a great week so far. Take care and I'll talk to you later, bye for now.
Kyle